Often people who are atheists comment that if there is God, why are there so…
From outside, a person might look happy, but only they know how they feel inside. At the same time it might look we have a sad life, when inside we are feeling a lot more joyful than we used to.
Sometimes I wonder if we can experience more joy and happiness when we are broken. All the love stories that have a toxic streak (where one cannot live without another) have intense personalities who go through ebbs and flows. If those characters are mature and understand true love, they might not even need the other person since they are fulfilled all within themselves.
As for me the joy in me has deepened. More from the time I have understood and accepted myself exactly the way I am. I spent my teens and twenties trying to fit myself in my environment and making myself into someone else. But around thirty when I saw the beauty in me just the way I was and that was really the start of my real joy.